Asi Te Pienso Recordar

Así te pienso recordar. El creaba la risa, pero tu llenabas el salón. Tu vida, tu alegria, ese amor que rebosaba, nos apretaba hasta los huesos y nos estremecía. Lo reitero, somos lo que somos por tu amor. Somos quienes somos por tus regaños, tus “planche la camisa, vístase mejor, como se le ocurre salir así”. Nos enseñaste el valor de la familia y sino no fuera por ti, tal vez esta pequeña tribu no viviría con la pasión que vivimos. Logramos cosas en esta vida bailando llenarte de admiración por los une han nacido de ti. Me encanta que me regañaras aunque en el momento me molestara. Aunque me hicieran quedar mal los primos por los tatuajes y cosas raras, tu me las celebrabas… Como que la menor no podía hacer cosa mala 😂… Nuestras jugadas de parques, de domino, de cartas. Todas las disfrute… No sabias cocinar pero no Javi nada mas delicioso que ir a donde la abuela a comer. Te amo y se que mucho hay en mi de ti, y eso le agradezco a Dios porque se ir no te puedo olvidar, ni podrás nunca estar lejos de mi. Te nos fuiste pero la obra sigue aquí para asegurarnos que la rumba siga allá. Esa rumba que tanto te gusto, que tanto viviste, que tanto pediste. La bochinchera de toda tu familia reunida haciendo ruido solo por alegrarte. Esa fiesta que te dio vida, te causo gracia, y que gozaste viéndonos felices a tu alrededor. Amo a Colombia porque fue donde te conocí y donde siempre te encontré. Mi princesa, mi bonita, mi linda, mi abuelita. Mi mejor regalo. (at Pereira, Colombia)

Her faith

My grandma’s faith confronts mine. She doesn’t have this big ambition towards God. She doesn’t believe in Him hoping to get something great out of Him of their relationship. She finds rest in praying her rosary, believing He listens and somehow that’s enough to soothe all her pain.

She’s not a thing to preach to the world, save thousands for Him, she just hopes to pray another “Our Father”. She’s not out looking for anointing, or platform, or conversion. She just believes, she has enough mind to ask Him to take away the leg pain that torments her without questioning Him if the pain never goes away. She’s not doubtful, she’s not confronting Him, not scared, just a faithful believer of a God she may not completely understand but fully follows. How lovely, such uninterested, unaltered, unfailing love.

I can’t believe…

If you wanted to question my decision, the steps back in my progress you took me back on are proof enough to show that thinking of myself is EXACTLY what I need to do. Can’t get over how bad my anxiety got… I want out, and this time I’m not asking, I’m not doubting, it’s happening. It’s sad to see how those who are supposed to help are the ones that hurt you the most. Can’t believe how careless we can be with others’ hearts and minds. And like in court, ignorance is not a form of defense. If you don’t know, don’t try to act like you do.
I just ask that if I’ve ever hurt anyone, made them question themselves and/or affected anyone negatively to forgive me.
Ahhhhhhh can I just scream and go to bed? ?… I feel like I’m back like 6 months ago… Not fair… No bueno… And I need to go to bed and be productive tomorrow. The Holy Spirit is my only hope for a good day tomorrow ?
Oh yea, I guess this is as good as time as ever to let you all know, I’ve suffered with depression and anxiety… And I couldn’t be more certain about God’s love than I am right this minute. He LOVESSSSSS me, and is with me in my struggle. Can’t say that about everyone else, but who needs anyone else when you have God? Not loving this instance but this too shall pass. Just wish it did real quick so I can go enjoy my comfy bed ?